It was finally time. The hour has finally come. I stood outside my apartment, placed my fingers slowly on the doorbell switch, watching as my mom opened the door with a smile like she always does. I took a glance at the stack of shoes near the door. The stickers on the door reverberating hospitality. I called this place home for 10 years. Now my journey has left me at crossroads. This time I had there was no shortcuts or cheat codes to find a way to cling on to my sanctuary spot. In 6 months I will be moving to new lands, looking for opportunities of study to pursue my higher education. I had no choice but to move on. I never believed in being overly attached to inanimate objects, even though I’d argue the case for my phone and computer, I would never really have thought that I would indeed, miss my apartment so much. Every time I stepped out of the doorway and locked the door, my subconscious was keeping a subtle count of how many times I get to repeat the action until I leave the place for good. Suddenly I was flying, as a wild familiar storm of Deja vu blew me off my toes.
Drowsy, maybe it was a boring class. I slowly opened my eyes, with an unpleasant aftertaste of anxiety. Maybe the feeling of separation however did not contain itself within my living premises. The grimness lurked it’s way into my personal and college life. Like every other student would agree, the people and the experiences pulled me towards the college, like a moth towards a candle flame. We were in our final year of study, counting days left for each of us where we can meet, share and have fun together. Many of us chose to follow their path towards a successful career, which meant that many of them would be leaving many of the others behind as they slowly learn to make the transition to work life. A few rare cases of friends ending up in the same workplace proved as exceptions, as the others dreaded the moment when they will have to face the reality of letting their best friends with whom they have spent the best parts of 4 years spent on and off university grounds. This transition apparently presenting itself to be a stumbling block in the smooth road of relationship for couples and friendship in best friends.
Maybe I was a little fortunate in that aspect. I managed to hold onto my love and my boys, at least until the end of the academic year. But it was never going to be easy watching your friends go, and even worse; watch the ones you love suffer from letting go of people close to them. It was like classic cinema; what started off as drama and romance had spiraled into mystery; Everyone quite anxious and filled with speculation of what is to become of their future. It was overwhelming, I was falling deep into that endless pit; and I opened my eyes, finding myself staring at an uninteresting roof.
My phone rung so loud that it deafened me for a second. Rather strange, to receive a call this late. I looked at the time, and then at the date. I smiled as I knew what came next is going to stay in my head for a long time to come. The next moment, I was lying on the bed eyes wide open, trying to find that glorious moment that would put me into a deep peaceful sleep; something that has evaded me since the thought of moving out was planted in my head. I looked around me and I saw three absolutely crazy, weird misfits around me, sleep deprived, tired, all passed out with tiny stains of my birthday cake near their mouths. These guys welcomed me to this place when I was just a boy, just 10 years of age. From somewhere between fighting for our favorite seats in school buses and long spicy conversations about our love lives we managed to enjoy each other’s company; and also put up with each other’s anomalies.
My head hit the window and I woke up with a start. I could see my buddy complaining onto my face about how I fell asleep in the bus when I was actually supposed to be sharing some of my interesting stories with him. Him reminding that I had only six months left to do all these did not help my anxiety. I had to remind him often that I would be in fact moving onto higher levels of education and not afterlife. Even though we had to endure long hours of travel to commute between our homes and college, it presented us with the gift of time to share and engage. The conversations kept the trip alive and joyful, at least when I was not dozing off next to a very curious person sitting next to me disgruntled at my choice of nap times. I’m a late night person, so it was only natural that a second later I found the same window pane I had just crashed onto; to be a soft quilt for me to fall asleep on.
I felt a soft hand around my face. Slowly tapping my nose, in a cute way to wake up. I moved my head around a bit, enjoying the comfort and warmth I felt resting on those legs. I opened my eyes and I knew I was looking at my favorite person in the whole wide world. I was treated to a menacing smile, something that was in equilibrium with ‘that felt good’ and ‘we’re late for class!’. Sometimes I enjoyed being a bit of a rebel, as I reasoned with her to let me get comfortable for some more time. But I was dealing with a rather responsible person here. Soon I was dragging myself to a class I absolutely did not like attending; A necessary evil in this case maybe. Maybe physically present, but again little did I know I’d be drifting into another world which had nothing much to do with computers and e-commerce.
The alarm was screaming into my ears. I felt like I’d just been dizzy punched by a bear. I wish I could just go back to sleep. My eyes looked tired, my mind weakened with fatigue. But it was another day. A new window for new experiences. Another chance to do something new with the people I love spending time with. Another day of the six months. I thought going back into the trance of sleep where I could relive my moments made me happy, at least until I realized that looking forward to a new day, to meet everyone again was actually what was driving me forward.
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