Tag: joy

Roller-coaster.

Oh yes I am aware. You are sitting in a train whistling through towns and forests, the bright sunlight rushing through the windows, creating a rather sharp shadow of the window sill on your lap. The busy atmosphere filled with noises of playing children, middle-aged workers talking loudly into their phones, vendors running about screaming out promotions, and infants crying so loud that you wish you were deaf. It takes only a moment for the shift to sink in as the loud, lively train meets the ghastly isolated entrance of a tunnel. Everything and everyone goes still, as the darkness gushes in like a blanket overcoming the light that was present. The sound of silence overpowers the sound of life. The moment maybe short where the journey is concerned. But it does exist. Like every other situation, even this one loves it’s occasional cameo. Yes, I am aware of the transition. When the smile fades, when your thoughts revolve around mistakes and regrets, when you forget how to laugh. Contagious joy around people only invoking rage within yourself. You know you are slipping into the darkness, but sometimes no amount of light can creep into the tunnel you are falling into.

Lack of fulfillment. Existential crisis. The two openings of the same tunnel. Most of us share this darkness. A rather uninvited guest, yet makes sure to visit us often, this feeling making us question the purpose of our life often leaving us in a state of dismay and rather unsettled. The systems around us have programmed our thoughts to reward ourselves with the gift of satisfaction when we involve ourselves in acts of goodwill. To help others, to bring about a change that helps someone feel better, or something work better. However many of us are lucky enough to push away these thoughts into pools of ignorance, there is the other half unconsciously questioning their own conduct because of their inability to win karma points for the day. Maybe you haven’t yet identified this as your nemesis, but maybe it’s time you fought back. Step outside, help someone in need. Maybe you will feel better. Maybe you would keep the darkness away, even if only for a day.

A story of what could’ve been. This one is tricky, a ruse. A wolf disguised as sheep. The one which keeps you lying on your bed or sitting still on beach shores, intoxicated by thoughts illustrated by your imagination. The string of thoughts woven perfectly to suit the circumstances you would have hoped for. The fairy tale ending you always craved for. What started of as a harmless, docile offspring of an idle mind, only takes little time to evolve into a deadly, venomous monster. Just like hills, the higher you climb, the lower you go on the other side. Your mind like a car running on the road being continuously fueled by freshly brewed stories, suddenly meeting with a car crash; as the car runs into a wall of reality. Now you are buried under the debris of insecurity and self-doubt. The sheep skin has been finally torn apart, and now the wolf is glaring at you, ready to feed on your fears. You fight it with a needle. A needle that grows into a dagger, and into a sword as you learn to stand your ground and learn to live in the present sense of reality.

Isolation. A double edged sword. Some find strength in being alone. Some find it emotionally draining. Whoever coined the term social-beings to represent humans has hit their dart on the bull’s eye. As you feel yourself slipping into an abyss of darkness, you fall with the confidence that you have with you, someone who can extend a hand and pull you out of it. But sometimes we get too comfortable with these settings. We always prepared to be part of the army, but we overlooked the possibility that we could be the last one standing to fight the war before it was over. We find the essence of hope and happiness in those who are close to us, we tap into these reserves as we imbibe upon similar feelings to make ourselves feel better. Our memories, our strengths, our qualities, our purpose. These reserves exist within ourselves, but we are blinded by the darkness. Maybe if we realized that the only person we need to ask for motivation is ourselves, we could graze past this avalanche of bad thoughts.

Boredom. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Most of the times, the idle mind is what generates the crack on your willful mind for all the other negativity to creep into. It is important that we invest our time into an activity that we associate our satisfaction and joy with. We call it passion. It is important that we hold onto passion, because when times get rough, as it surely will. Our passion offers us an escape route to the exit of the tunnel. The small doorway where you can see the bright rays of light entering.

No matter what tunnels we find ourselves in, I hope we regain our sight and faith to find the exit of the tunnel, no matter how far or small it may seem.

Images by lifeforstock. freepik.com

Out in the Rain.

The bright sun throwing the mighty rays of sunshine in all directions, sky blue filled with effervescent clouds floating away like fluffs of cotton. Birds chirp filling the air, white noise that blends in with the song of the gentle whistling breeze.Grass dry and warm caressed by sunshine. The brick red earth. A mere frame in a point of time. A defined moment in a series of events that follows. The moment lasts not long, as the transition rushes in; bringing in an absolute change in the nature of everything. The bright sun consumed by the dark clouds, with the merry fluffs of cotton rushing back home seeking sanctuary just like the birds, back into their cozy nests, protected by the leaves of the tree; their entitled protector.

The living seeking shelter, darkness spreading marking the arrival of a storm; Like how a king announces his arrival, the storm often accompanied by the forces of lightening and thunder. From light drizzles to thunderstorms that dazzles the feeling of peace; it would still be terribly unjustified to call rain an embodiment of fear. It would be fair however to maybe consider it equivalent to the transition of human emotions. Drizzles accompanied with sunlight just enough to produce a rainbow painted with happy colors, heavy rain synonymous with the release of overwhelming grief and thunderstorms, that carry the same magnitude of intimidation as that of rage and anger.

Rain is as much as an expression of emotion as it is a representation of balance and change. To put it quite simply, every drop of water that evaporates to vapor and disappears into thin air like salt in water experiences the freedom of adventure. Every drop restrained by it’s state, restricted movement determined by it’s surroundings, now suddenly achieving a state of absolute bliss, now unchained moving freely in the atmosphere like school children in a playground; appreciating the feeling of freedom over collective belonging like a bird who wishes to fly rather than live it’s life with another in a golden cage.

Yet the drops do not have the privilege to be free forever, they have to end their journey, where the destination also happens to be the very point they started their voyage towards change. Every drop of water is the reflection of a living soul. They start their journey alone, they make family, and then when the time comes, they breathe in the life sustaining element of oxygen for the last time, breathing out their demons of grief, regrets and responsibilities, before they take a whiff of freedom. The change is inevitable. As they say, change is the rule of nature. Yet we grieve death, we cry over loss of our loved ones. We cry because we lose things we held close to our heart. But do we shed tears looking at ice turn into water? We accept this change but falter when we need to embrace the reality in dire circumstances.

But the power of expression is incomparable; it seems a necessity to express and pave way for a shower rather than hold it in and let it undergo metamorphosis into a full fledged volcano. But crying over loss for an indefinite period of time is not any good. Imagine continuous rainfall, without a pause, like a daily marathon. Destruction of crops, flooding and all other kinds of damage to the living. Now we learn to connect rain with overwhelming grief, mixture of emotions and darkness. Rain is a teenager inflicted by mood swings. And yes, there is a prospect for joy and happiness.

The sun is covered by dark clouds, accompanied by an eerie sky tinged with darkness and a cold breeze. Some drops find their way out of the clouds, and then it’s an uproar, water pouring down onto the earth. A small girl looks out of her window. The best part of the year has only presented her with scorching heat and dry weather. When she sees rain, her heart is brimming with happiness, just like the small clay pots in the garden overflowing with rain water; and all the flowers seem to be smiling at her, vibrant and full of color. The grass looks greener with drops of water washing away it’s dullness. The brick red earth has turned chocolate brown, comes alive as it generates a fragrance of it’s own. The little girl rushes out into the rain, trying to grab the falling drops from the air.

The rain eventually ceases, sunshine slowly returning. Drops of water on leaves and grasses appear like pearls, a rainbow decides to pay a visit, filling everyone with a sense of joy and wonder.

The concept of balance is rather wonderful. Everything in nature life and death, night and day, heat and the cold; co-existence is a lesson we learn from everything we see around us and every event we experience or go through. The most ideal application of co-existence would be the one between our thinking and that of the phenomenon of change. Because when we truly learn to accept change, we grow. Just like how a tiny caterpillar takes it’s first step to form a cocoon before it turns into an elegant butterfly.

Change can be your nemesis for a second and your savior during another. Let us not fight change, but embrace it.

Images by Bimbimkha. Freepik.com